Please refrain from eating our seed. We have enough trouble with
those pesky squirrels. We realize that technically you are a bird,
but let’s face it, you are not like us. Your raspy “gobble-gobble” cannot
compete with the sweet sounds of our songs. You cannot soar beneath
a bright blue sky or gently perch on the outstretched arm of our cherry tree.
And by the way, are you lost? Look around. This property is not a farm.
There are no chickens or goats or cows. This is the backyard of a house
in a neighborhood, not a pasture.
Please don't misunderstand. We do not want to seem unwelcoming. We are
simply looking out for your happiness. Hopefully you will find your way home
soon. Until then, please look for food elsewhere.
Thank you kindly,