Mentor Texts with Lynne & Rose
  • Home
  • About Lynne & Rose
  • Our Books & Video
  • Grammar Matters
  • Presentations
  • Bookings
  • Blogging with Rose
  • Blogging with Lynne
  • Your Turn Lessons
  • Notebook Entries
  • Books Too Good to Miss
  • Endorsements
  • Links

Hurtful Words

3/29/2016

14 Comments

 
Picture
I have recently read quite a few slices about the importance of being kind and treating people with respect and love. Although I hadn’t planned on writing about an encounter I had with a bicyclist on the trail a couple of weeks ago, I think it demonstrates how hurtful words can be.
 
Saturdays on the trail are always crowded, especially when the day is sunny and we can feel the first warm breezes of spring. As I was walking with Cyrus I began to feel a little tired, so I decided to turn around. We were stopped since Cyrus had found a delicious smell to investigate. I checked for “oncoming traffic,” looked down at Cyrus one last time to encourage him to continue, and began to turn. I looked up to check for traffic a second time when a bicyclist started yelling for me to watch out. He was barreling along at a speed far too fast for the trail, all the time shouting at me. It seemed he had come out of nowhere! I saw him in time and was not about to enter his path, but as he flew by he took the opportunity to hurl some hurtful words my way…You b_ _ _ _!  It wasn’t just the word, but the intensity of anger with which he said it that surprised me the most. It stuck with me for a very long time.
 
I think the only way to forget this incident is to forgive. Of course, that is easier said than done, but Amy Ludwig VanDerwater’s post on The Poem Farm about poems of advice on Friday provided me with just the right vehicle.
 
Dear Mr. Bicyclist,
 
Be careful as you ride.
 
Families and young children may be by your side.
 
Heed the limit on your speed.
 
Be mindful of your words and deeds.
 
Acknowledge your neighbors in a friendly way.
 
Others want to enjoy the day.
 
I know he will never see this, but it made me feel better to put it in writing.
 

14 Comments
Clare link
3/29/2016 06:12:06 am

Rose - I totally agree! I am so struck by the level of intense anger people have over small things. Have you seen the easter egg hunts gone bad videos from the weekend? Parents pushing, grabbing... It is crazy. I love that you wrote him a poem -- he may never see it, but someone will. It is a ripple.... you just threw in the first stone!
Clare

Reply
elsie
3/29/2016 06:25:07 am

Sometimes those encounters live in our hearts and minds longer than they have a right to be there. Aggressive bikers give all biking people a bad name. What a great poem to put your heart and mind at ease.

Reply
Keith link
3/29/2016 06:51:29 am

I've been reading bits and pieces about "micro aggressions" and this seems like it was one by trying to make you feel "less than." In the end, this lead you to create something by turning negative into positive, which surely will triumph. Hope you get to enjoy a nice walk today!

Reply
Stacey
3/29/2016 06:56:41 am

This would've disturbed me too. It is amazing how harsh people can be with their words when they're hiding behind a computer or have a quick getaway (like the bike guy). Something like this happened to me recently while driving in Manhattan. I had my left blinker on and the people in the next car must've thought that me wanting to change lanes was a horrible thing because they gave me the finger. I was stunned.

Reply
lynne dorfman link
3/29/2016 07:12:23 am

Sorry you had this experience. Words can be so hurtful - like sharp daggers - and not easily forgotten. Glad Amy had a poem just for this occasion...perfect! I agree that writing and sharing is a good way to feel better!

Reply
Anna Cockerille
3/29/2016 07:13:40 am

I have been there, and those encounters are so jarring and affronting. I carry them with me, too. What he did was completely inappropriate and uncalled for. Once I was yelled at by a bicyclist while I was crossing the street (on green) - he was running a red light and yelled at me for being in his way. Awful. You are so brave to forgive.

Reply
Erin Baker link
3/29/2016 07:51:37 am

I love that you were able to take ugliness and make a thing of beauty! You did not allow his hurtful words to live and grow inside you.

Reply
Linda Baie link
3/29/2016 11:42:16 am

How nice that you turned his anger into something that will cheer so many of us up today, and you as well. Thank you, Rose. I'm sorry for your encounter, wonder how someone could be racing along hold such anger?

Reply
arjeha link
3/29/2016 01:38:50 pm

There are always those, unfortunately, who think they own whatever space they occupy. It is unfortunate that you had to encounter one. Although it is sometimes hard, it is better to forgive and move on instead of letting it fester and grow.

Reply
Tara link
3/29/2016 02:27:34 pm

Your response says much about you, Rose - you made this awful event into an opportunity for something more positive.

Reply
Lynn
3/29/2016 02:28:00 pm

Oh gosh I hate hearing this! Sometimes people can be so rude and thoughtless! You were so nice not to say anything back to him . . .I'm afraid I might have.

Reply
Shelly
3/29/2016 02:50:45 pm

People can be so rude and hurtful. So glad you wrote about your encounter and it made you feel better. Writing sure has that effect! I always feel better after writing. Thank you for sharing!

Reply
PaulaBourque link
3/29/2016 02:53:08 pm

Your line, " I think the only way to forget this incident is to forgive," hits to the heart of it. The forgiveness isn't for that biker, it's to help you move beyond those hurtful words. Our forgiveness frees US up from carrying around resentment and bad feelings. You took that situation, found an inspiration, and shared it with others! You changed the trajectory of that energy. Thank you!!

Reply
Diane Dougherty link
3/29/2016 03:40:45 pm

Rose, you are right. Forgiveness is everything. Bicycle man may not know it, but you do. Repaying anger with anger diminishes us all. Thanks for the post and the reminder that love truly does conquer all .

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Rose shares her observations and reflections on teaching and learning.

    Archives

    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.