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Pikes Peak Adventure

3/30/2016

11 Comments

 
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The other day I was scrounging through a kitchen cabinet in search of a water bottle when I happened to find one labeled “Pikes Peak By Bike.” Suddenly it was the summer of 2010, and we were on a family vacation in the Denver/ Colorado Springs area to see the Phillies play the Rockies. When Allan announced that he thought a nice activity while we were out there would be to bike down Pikes Peak, my first reaction was Are you crazy? But I was outnumbered.
 
Since I’ve been trying out some different organizational structures in my slices, I thought it might be fun to describe this event through emotions. First I wrote down all the different emotions I remember experiencing that day, then I tied one part of the experience to each emotion. Here’s what I came up with:
 
               Watching the trucks being loaded with the bikes and equipment and piling into the van for the ride
               up the mountain was exciting.

 
              Observing the scenery change from trees to rock and feeling my ears pop as we climbed higher and
              higher was anxiety-inducing.

 
              Noticing that there were no guard rails on the narrow trails and having to pull on heavier clothes as
              we reached new heights was surprising.

 
              Getting to the top, not being able to catch your breath, and needing to use the emergency inhaler
              (Allan, not me) made me nervous.

 
              Deciding that Allan and I would ride down in the van until reaching the tree line was a little embarrassing
              
(but wise).

 
              Getting on the bike and starting down, all the while hugging the brakes, was scary.
 
              Receiving a calm reminder from the guide that I could trust him to get me down the mountain
              unscathed was reassuring.

 
              Feeling the wind against my skin as we zipped along was exhilarating.
 
             Stopping to take in the spectacular views was breathtaking.
 
             Finally reaching the bottom and sharing a cold beer was rewarding.
 
             Creating family memories…priceless.

(I think this would be fun to try with kids. They could even take it a step further and rewrite some of the lines by trying to show the emotion instead of telling it – a fun way to practice description).
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11 Comments
Fran link
3/30/2016 05:33:35 am

This format is definitely one I want to try . . . and also use with revision! I clearly remember Pikes Peak - up and down - on a motorcycle some -- years ago! You captured the emotions so well!

Reply
Carol Varsalona link
3/30/2016 05:43:13 am

Rose, what a great idea you had about the structure of this post. I think this would be an interesting writing adventure for all learners. I was really immersed in your adventure. Kudos to you because I could not have done this.

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lynne dorfman link
3/30/2016 06:26:10 am

I think kids could try this structure, too. A great way of recapping your family's adventure. Love the final word choice - priceless! Incredible that you did this bike ride!

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elsie
3/30/2016 06:58:36 am

You had my heart pounding the whole way! Reminded me of a bike ride my husband did in Norway. He rode down the mountain to the fjord. I took a different excursion, I was too chicken. I'm not into speed, so I would have worn out the brakes. I won't be telling my husband of this because he'd be all over it. So many emotions in such a short period of time. Great job!

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Rose
3/30/2016 07:35:25 am

Believe me, the brakes were burning by the time I got down! I am not into speed either. That's why I don't ski.

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arjeha link
3/30/2016 08:25:53 am

What a neat format, Rose. This is something kids could have fun doing. Don't think I would be daring enough to attempt this bike ride.

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Diane Dougherty link
3/30/2016 09:33:15 am

First things first...I could NEVER have made that ride!
But the idea for the format is great. That I could try. I agree that this would be a good format for student writers. Thanks, Rose.

Reply
Rose
3/30/2016 10:31:40 am

I am amazed sometimes at some of the things I have done. That ride, and the zip line in Costa Rica are at the top of the list.

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Noël
3/30/2016 12:48:44 pm

You really took me along for the ride. What a creative way to relive your adventure. I agree that students would be able to do this and come up with a very creative piece.

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Tara link
3/30/2016 04:17:45 pm

What a creative way to tell a story! I'll have to remember this.

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Amy link
3/30/2016 06:07:34 pm

I think this is just brilliant and a wonderful way to remember a family adventure from the past. I was scared myself I read about your travels. I was particularly worried when the inhaler was need. Glad your family time was priceless in the end!

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